wedding rings…yes or no??
Posted by: lwayswright on: May 14, 2008
So here is one for both men and women to weigh in on. Does it matter to you if your spouse wears their wedding ring or not? I have noticed over the past couple of years that there is this trend toward a lot of people (mostly men I hate to say it) who don’t wear their wedding rings. And it always makes me wonder why. It’s not like, if they did wear the rings at one time, they don’t have a permanent indent in their finger…LOL.
When I got married I could not wait to get the ring on my finger and one on my husbands as a symbol, a sign to us and the world that we are together, a couple, you know the whole “two become one” thing. So, I wear my ring all the time. I rarely take it off unless I am doing something really messy. The same holds true for my husband. Which I love about him. He is great about wearing his ring and he knows the importance of it to me which is even cooler.
So what’s the real deal on that whole thing? Why do some choose not to wear a ring at all? Is it because they really aren’t committed to the relationship so, they don’t want that ring to be in the way should something better happen a long? Or is jewelry just a nuisance to them? And then I wonder, if one spouse does wear their ring faithfully, and one doesn’t does it bother the spouse that wears the ring?
Or could it be that I am just a strange anal woman with really weird ideals of what forever after is supposed to be????
I remember the words we said to each other so clearly “I give you this ring as a sign of my love and faithfulness”. Those words are a part of my heart, and a part of my marriage. So, to wear or not to wear…that is the question.
22 Responses to "wedding rings…yes or no??"
May 14, 2008 at 2:12 pm
Glad to know I’m not the only one who thinks that kind of thing is important! thanks for the comment!
May 14, 2008 at 3:03 pm
i don’t think men should take them off just as a gesture of love towards the woman, if for no other reason what so ever. I’m not old enough to know why they take it off but i think I’m still young enough to know why they should keep it on.
May 14, 2008 at 3:29 pm
In my first marriage, one of the signs that my husband was being unfaithful was his removing of his wedding band. As soon as I saw his naked finger I knew there was “someone else.”
The wonderful man I am married to now understands how I feel about it and he NEVER removes his ring.
I’m not saying that every person who doesn’t wear their wedding ring is being unfaithful, that just happens to have been what I experienced in my first marriage. So, wearing the ring is very important to me.
May 14, 2008 at 11:24 pm
You know, I’ve noticed the same thing. Lately, most of my married male teachers don’t wear their wedding rings but I do their wives do. It’s odd. I believe that you’re right, both should wear their rings as I sign of devotion to each other, and frankly, I’d be a little heated in knowing my significant other wasn’t wearing his ring.
Some people I’ve caught without wedding rings use sports as an excuse,ha. And strangely enough, all those I found without wedding rings were men. I’ve never met a woman who wasn’t wearing hers.
May 15, 2008 at 12:36 am
I’m delighted you’ll be joining us for the Memoir Monday “thing.” (I’m not sure what it’ll be called yet.)
TTFN,
Stacey
May 16, 2008 at 2:36 pm
I am very suspicious of men who don’t wear their wedding ring because they “just don’t wear jewelry”. Gimme a break! No ring on the finger implies to the world that you are available. Period!
May 16, 2008 at 3:49 pm
First off I just wanted to say thank you for your comment on my blog. It was my first one ever!
About the ring thing my husband lost his about 3 months after we got married and hasn’t worn one since. I however have mine on at all times. Granted mine was a whole heck of alot more than his was but, it’s not about the money. Sometimes it bothers me that he doesn’t wear one but, I know that he still loves me regardless.
May 16, 2008 at 8:29 pm
As long as I can remember my dad never wore a wedding ring… my mother always did. I don’t think it has anything to do with his lack of committment… my parents have been happily married for over 35 years! I have never actually ask my mom (or dad) why he never wears a ring, but I think it is because his skin is very senstitive. He NEVER wears any jewelry. I have never seen him wear anything except for his watch. But he almost never wears that either because it gives him rashes.
Growing up I never thought about it… but as I’m getting older and thinking more about engagement/marriage myself it has struck me as weird. Maybe I’ll ask my mom about it one day…
Even though I do not question my parents committments to one another.. I definately would want my partner to wear a ring!
May 16, 2008 at 10:39 pm
In my experience, men that don’t wear their wedding rings are selfish pigs and aren’t really committed to their marriage. I’m sure there is an exception out there somewhere, I just haven’t met them. And I’ve never encountered a woman that doesn’t wear hers but I would probably come to the same conclusion of them if I did. Until someone changes my mind differently, I’m ok with that conclusion.
My husband found out right before our wedding that his father has never taken his ring off in all the years that they have been married. He thought that was so cool that he decided that he would do the same. And 8 years later, that ring has never moved off his finger (and it better not! LOL). His parents just celebrated their 40 year anniversary in November 
May 24, 2008 at 12:02 am
There is one more aspect for people to think about. Neither my husband nor I wear our rings anymore, but I would never in my wildest dreams even think about being unfaithful to him. It is probably true with some men that taking off their wedding ring may be a sign of unfaithfulness but that doesn’t mean the same for all men. Before our wedding my husband and I both spend a lot of time picking out our rings. My ring was purchased from a local jeweler called Stuart Jewelers and my husband ring was ordered off of a website called http://www.eternaltungsten.com. You may wonder why mine was purchased locally and why his was ordered, and the answer to that is what ties this whole story together. My husband is a mechanic. That is why I ordered a different type of ring that is less common then titanium but very durable, and that reason is also why he doesn’t wear his ring. I don’t wear mine because I work at the mill. In both professions, our rings cause a problem. Our hands are often stuck in dangerous places and if our rings were to get caught on something, well let’s just say we could be in big trouble. It has happened before. When you spend a lot of time in mechanic shops or mills you hear some very terrible stories and if you’re there long enough it is more likely that you will personally witness one. Some may wonder why we don’t wear our rings when we’re not at work and the answer to that is I don’t want either of us carting our rings around in a manner that may cause us to lose them. So both of our rings, although very special to both of us, remain safely locked away in my jewelry box. We take them out on special occasions such as the occasional romantic night out to dinner and a movie, and anniversaries but for the most part they stay locked up. The rings do have very special meaning to both of us but it’s not worth the risk to us. So, as you can see. There are other things to think about on this subject. My husband and I have talked about it and if either of us switch jobs and are in safer environments we will wear our rings at all times, but not until then!! I feel sorry for the women out there who have had to experience unfaithfulness!! It is a tragedy..
May 24, 2008 at 12:15 am
thanks for your response. I do know quite a few people, actually, who work in similar working environments and don’t wear their rings to those things…and I don’t blame them for that. And, if you and your hubby have discussed it, and agree that it is how the pair of you want to deal with your rings and the meaning they have to you, (which sounds quite meaningful indeed!) I think that is great. Each couple really needs to work that through together. My difficulty lies with the married couple who don’t work it through as a “couple” but as single individuals. And I have run across more then a few married people like that. It breaks my heart when I hear about a woman (I say women cuz that who is who I talk to mostly) who says she really would love if her spouse wore his ring but “he isn’t a ring kind of guy” or “he doesn’t think it’s important”. If it is important to your wife, or your husband it should be important to you too! But in your case, it sounds as though the two of you are on exactly the same page and that is awesome! thanks again…sorry this was so long..I tend to get wordy sometimes:)
May 24, 2008 at 2:41 am
I too tend to get wordy as you can tell from my paragraph from above. And I agree with you with you that it is heartbreaking to listed to a women saying she would like her spouse to wear a ring but he wont. I have known a few of those relationships as well. I only have one thing to say to those people, “You have to talk about it.” You’re spouse, weather the male or female, must always know how you feel. It’s great to see that somebody else out there is willing to talk about these types of things!!!
May 24, 2008 at 3:28 am
I stopped a few years ago for two reasons.
I got fat.
I started working for an electrical utility and was told to not wear it because I could fry myself.
June 14, 2008 at 5:12 pm
I know people who do and don’t wear their rings. My mother still wears her ring even though she has been separated many years.
I love my hubby and would never cheat, but my fingers do swell with different seasons and I’ve already resized my ring so sometimes I just go without if I’m with my hubby or I wear a different one that is larger.
I admit I just feel naked having nothing there which is why I still wear something even if it isn’t the ring I was married in. Besides the fact that when getting hit on, it’s nice to point at a ring – end of discussion.
June 14, 2008 at 6:34 pm
This has been kind of a popular topic with interesting comments from people….mostly women…and most of you think a ring is an important part of marriage. I remember when I was pregnant (marriage #1) and my fingers swelled so badly. I got one of those faux rings that looked “kinda” real and wore it till the baby was born. My first husband didn’t wear his ring all the time and it bugged me.
My husband (#2) does wear his ring always because he knows how important it is to me…and he says he feels naked without it! That makes me feel really good! I guess I just want other women to know, when they look at him, that he is already taken! corny I guess huh????
June 15, 2008 at 3:45 pm
This may come from “age” but I never wear my ring at home. I put it on when I leave the house but it gets in the way when I’m doing gardening and every day chores. My husband doesn’t wear his anymore just because he doesn’t like jewelry AND, because it was to tight. We’ve been married nearly 30 years. When I was younger, it would have botherd me but not anymore. Some things change as you get older.
I got a “new” ring a few years ago and it’s just to big for me to wear for changing cat litter and things like that. I don’t want to scratch it or anything.
For me, I don’t need my husband to wear a ring to show me he loves me or the world for that matter. He shows his love for me every day so I don’t need him to “prove” it to the world. He “proves” it to me and our children and grandchildren so I don’t care what others think.
November 16, 2008 at 4:00 am
My husband only takes his off when he’s changing the oil in our tractor.
I never put mine on unless he’s giving me the evil man eyes.
He doesn’t care that I don’t wear mine (I’m not a jewellery type of gal) but I’d kill him if he didn’t wear his.
March 13, 2009 at 12:33 pm
Bravo….it’s nice to have my thoughts confirmed. For us singles, it’s really hard to know who to approach and who not to when guys don’t wear their wedding rings or worse yet tell you they are free and you find out later that they are not.
I think most of us stay away from attachments with married guys….but then again perhaps not….Interesting, wonder if we should do some blog reseach to find out if being a couple and especially married is important in the dating relm. Wonder if we would get comments that lean more in one direction than another….
April 7, 2009 at 11:38 am
A man’s opinion.
I have worn mine since the day my wife and I wed. I work with my hands, and might fall into the catigory of ’safer without it’ but I choose to keep mine on. It is a symbol. It makes a statement. I always laugh when I see see a man take his ring off just before heading into a bar, or to meet a woman, like you see in a movie or on TV… Do you have any idea how long it would take for the ring ‘dent’ on a man’s finger to go away once he takes his ring off? My wedding ring is not tight (I can easily remove it) but I have a ‘dent’ that is probably 1/8th of an inch deep in my finger under the ring. It would take weeks or months to go away. If I took my ring off to meet other women, any idiot who didn’t notice the mark probably deserved my no-good unfaithful ass in the first place….
April 8, 2009 at 12:15 am
I love your response! that’s exactly what my husband said…that and I would kill him if he took it off LOL.
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May 14, 2008 at 5:55 am
I am strange and anal right along with you. I NEVER take mine off. My husband takes his (3rd) wedding band off every night and forgets to put it back on at least once a week. Sheesh. The first ring was too tight in the summer, so I bought him a simple gold band… the next size up. Then he jammed his finger catching a football and needed ring #3, which he purchased all on his own. Thank God. Good topic! Got my blood boiling.