But, on a positive note, my son….my talented son….got a chance to play for the first time at church. I was so proud of him. He has amazing musical talent, as does my daughter. I am so proud of all three of my kids and how hard they have worked to get where they are. Life hasn’t always been easy or kind to them, but they have grown into extraordinary human beings.
So, here is my son playing his bass at church…and a video of my daughter and son…he is playing and she is singing.
Marriage, step parenting and parenting are all things that are so hard and take so much effort and work. I’m not going to lie, I love being married, I love my husband and I love having kids and I love my kids, but both bring conflict. Taking one step forward and two steps back seems to be the norm in our world. My mom showed me through her life how grace works. She showed me what forgiveness really meant, and she taught me that life isn’t always rosey and smooth sailing. She and my dad had many ups and downs, they had mountains that they had to overcome that often, I’m sure, seemed insurmountable to her. But she loved my dad with an unconditional love. For all his faults and foibles, for all his quirks, she held on to that marriage and that life and she savored and cherished every day of her life. My mom was in no way perfect. She had her quirks and short comings as well. And I know there were times when my dad probably thought “Oh Joanne, stop your naggin!” But he loved her. He still loves her! They were married over 50 years, moms been gone 2 years and he still talks about her like she is still around! She taught me those things. To forge ahead even when you feel like letting go.
So, that’s what I am doing. I know having a wife with a chronic illness can’t be easy on my husband, and my insecurities and things are not always the easiest to deal with. And he, like all humans, has his own faults. We tangle, we disagree, we argue, and we don’t always see eye to eye. But we love each other. And we have fought hard through so many obstacles to make it as far as we have! So, I am keeping the faith that this too shall pass…we will come out stronger on the other side!
I hope you enjoy this video of my kids, singing and playing music together. They bring such joy to my life everyday! they are tough and strong and beautiful human beings!
This is an incredibly hard time in my life. So many things are happening and I feel like I am spinning out of control. I have people pulling me in every direction you can imagine. It is really difficult when there is a kid in the family who has caused stress, grief, and hurt and then that child is thrust back upon the rest of the family…it sort of all falls apart. And, mom, that would be me, is pushed into the middle.
Step families are hard as it is. Trying to keep a semblance of normalcy is difficult at best. But add into that a wayward child and things go all hay wire. And, everyone has an opinion on how things should or shouldn’t be handled. I’m just trying to hold it all together and stay healthy at the same time. Not an easy task.
Marriage is hard. Marriage with kids is really hard. No one truly sees how a marriage is except the people in that marriage, yet everyone has an opinion on that as well. I’m not a quitter. I don’t give up on people easily. And, I love with all my heart. I just really wish that everyone could see that I am doing the best I can. I have put everyone else first always. Now it is time for me to listen to my heart, and try to hold it together…..because I believe that is the way it should be! Everyone has their opinions, they try to tell me what to do or what is “best for me”. But really, only I can know what I need to do. I have lived a lot of life in my 46 years. I’m not stupid. I love my kids, and I love my husband. It is really a shame that there are some people who think I have to choose and that there is no way to work things out. It takes time to mend things…especially under the circumstances we are under. I am honestly doing the best that I can.
