May 28, 2009 at 12:46 am (BLENDED FAMILY, family and life, infidelity, life in our world of insanity, marriage)
Tags: children, economics, Family, humor, kids, Life, marriage, memories, news, RELIGION, thoughts
I am a great aunt….again. For the third time I have been blessed with a great neice. It’s amazing to me, with how many boys there are in this family, that so far I have only great neices. It is also telling me how old I am getting. No longer am I getting news that I will be an “aunt” again. Nope…all my neices and nephews are now having babies of their own. Strange how that works. It’s given me a few things to think about.
First, I am realizing that my own children are hitting that age when they could be getting married and having babies of their own. I have seen how fast time flies and that my mom was right when she told me to cherish every minute with my kids because that time is so precious and goes so fast. It seems like just minutes ago they were toddlers, babies and needing me for everything in their lives. Now, they don’t need me much at all. I like to believe they do, but the reality is that they are pretty grown up…and I am so proud of them.
I am also realizing that the older I get the harder it is to deal with a disease or anything physically that goes along with that disease. I don’t recover as quickly. And, I am so much more tired so much more often then I used to be. I am trying, like we all do, to cling to my youth, to try to believe I am still sexy to my husband, attractive enough for a man on the street to take a second look, that I could swim 50 laps in my pool like I did just a few years ago. I sit back and think to myself “what happened to the girl who did 500 sit ups every day, did tae bo, ate healthily and weighed much less?” Now some of that I could get back. I could eat more healthy and probably should. But the situps? No way. My back, my joints, just wouldn’t take the abuse to my body. Occassionally I drag out the yoga mat and stretch and work my muscles. But even that is getting more and more difficult.
I really don’t want Lupus to make a mess of me, but it is one thing, another thing, that I have had to face up to. I can take steps to make my life better, I can take my meds, go to the doctor, stay out of the sun and do all the things that I am supposed to do but the reality is that like it or not I have a disease that is eating away at me. I could live to a very old age with this disease, but, each day that passes I count as a blessing and a gift. And the older I get the more I cherish that gift.
My daughters are so young and beautiful. My son is a handsome and loveable young man…so funny, so smart. And my step kids have all left their mark on my heart. I have grand children thanks to them, much earlier then I anticipated having grand kids….and for that I am grateful. I hope and pray that they all take each day, remember the moments that fill them, hold them in their hearts. I hope that they realize how quickly time flies and that they only have this one life and they need to make the most of it!
I am a great aunt! And for me…that’s a very remarkable thing!
3 Comments
May 23, 2009 at 2:01 am (Uncategorized)
Tags: children, Family, graduation, health, kids, Life, music, news, random, thoughts
Sorry for any of you who are tired of my rambling on and on about my kids. But they are, in fact, great!:) There are so many times that I want to sit and write about my “feelings” and my “emotions” and often I do. I am fairly candid about the way I feel about things like infidelity, family, grace, God, and even the octomom..LOL. But this last week or so has been all about my girls. So, in honor of them…here are more photos…
OH and I just made my first photo book with shutterfly! It was great fun!
- Mom and Kassi!
2 Comments
January 15, 2009 at 10:59 pm (depression, family and life, life in our world of insanity, marriage)
Tags: business, children, chronic illness, crime, economy, health, Life, RELIGION, theft, thoughts
You know how people talk about feeling violated when their house or car is broken into? Well today, I feel violated. My purse was stolen out of my office today…while we were in the building. I mean, someone walked into my office, and just took it and walked back out again. What a horribly overwhelming feeling of being lost. All my identification, my credit cards, my medications, my camera, cell phone even my car and office keys were in my purse! Now someone else has it and what they will do with it who knows?
So, who do you call first? Do you call the doctor and pharmacy? The bank? Cell company? I couldn’t even call my kids cell phone numbers cuz, guess what…they are all stored on my cell phone. I’m not smart enough to write them down in an address book. Who carries those things anymore? And even if I did it would be gone with my purse! My brain just isn’t smart enough to remember all those numbers anymore. I guess I will have to get an address book for the office and one for the house with all personal cell phones in them….geez!
So, there is an update of my day. OH, gotta run. The police just got here to take a report and then the locksmith will change the locks on the office door. I hope they catch whoever did this!
3 Comments
January 15, 2009 at 7:51 pm (family and life, life in our world of insanity, marriage)
Tags: blended families, children, Family, fatigue, God, health, illness, Life, Lupus, pain, relationship, thoughts
I’m not sure about any of you other’s out there with Lupus, or any other chronic disease for that matter, but do you find yourself planning your shower time around your life? I find myself penciling in my showers/baths for when I think I will have the most energy to do it…I mean the fixing of the hair, shaving the legs/pits, just the whole thing. Even putting lotion on can tend to wear me out. I mean this bod of mine isn’t exactly tiny….it takes some doin to get all the bits and parts lotioned up. And, I’m getting old besides so I need all the moisturizing I can get! It wears me out just thinking about it!
There are days when I wish I was one of those really wealthy people who can afford to have someone do all this stuff for me, (not lotioning part, unless it were like …hmmm….Johnny Depp:) ) If I only had someone who could have a brain for me to remember things. I forget from one minute to the next what I am supposed to be doing, what I was doing, where I was going, why I was going. There are times when I get to the grocery store knowing there was a specific thing I needed and guess what….I have no idea what it is when I get there! It is so frustrating. That makes me tired…trying to remember!
My daugther turns 19 on Friday. I certainly hope I remember her name on that day! Seriously, sometimes it is scary what happens with this disease. It turns your brain and body to mush. And it isn’t too good on the self esteem. There are so many days when I feel inadequate, old and antiquated. And, I’m not really that old! Inside I feel like I am still in my twentys. Is there going to come a day when I don’t remember who I am laying next to in bed? We haven’t been married that long…sometimes it seems as if we were cheated out of time by this disease! And my kids were cheated as well.
All I can say is that I am thankful for the days when my brain seems normal. And though they are sometimes few and far between, they still happen. And for that I am grateful!
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