October 8, 2009 at 4:10 pm (BLENDED FAMILY, depression, family and life, life in our world of insanity, marriage)
Tags: crime, delinquents, drugs, felony, judicial system, kids, medical, news, parents, strep
So, I guess our justice system is really broken! I have a step son who is a teenager and on probation for a weapons charge. He took a plea deal….dropped from 6 felonies down to just one! the conditions of his plea are an essay, a fine, counseling, community service, cannot miss school, and must keep job, no involvement with drugs, dealing or alcohol, or with the kids who got him involved in those things in the first place. He cannot get a drivers license till he is 18, must follow household rules, drug tests twice weekly. He has deferred detention which means at any time (supposedly) the judge can throw him back in jail.
Guess what….he has been skipping school, not coming home at night, drinking, dealing drugs again, he punched holes in our walls at home, skipped counseling, has not written the essay nor paid the fine and skipped his community service. And that’s just part of the list. So, we called the PO….first of all i am not allowed to be involved in any way because I am “just” the step parent. Even though he is living in MY home and causing Chaos in MY life I have no involvement! Not only that, she said she can’t do anything unless we call the police for every infraction. Now wait a minute….I thought that is what he had a PO for??? No one told us we had to call the police for every infraction they told us to contact his PO. But, she says she can’t do anything. Today she was making a visit up to his school to meet with him and his teachers…guess what….he isn’t there. My husband got a text from him at 2 AM last night that said “Homey got shot, had to take him to ER wasn’t going to let him die”. But, no one can do anything about him. Amazing. Is it any wonder there are so many kids on the street in trouble? They get charges against them, get Parole officers who can’t do anything so there is no way they will ever change. If I hadn’t heard the PO on the phone with my own ears I never would have believed it!
So, yesterday I put a call in to the judge. After all she is the one at the hearing who said she could revoke his deferred detention and his plea bargain at any time and for any reason. She never called me back. I called again today…we’ll see if she calls back! This boy is destroying our life, our marriage, our family and making me sicker by the day. The stress of it is incredible.
As you know, or don’t know, I have lupus. Right now I am fighting strep throat, a strep rash on my neck, pleurisy, and I have to have an MRI on my lower back because something is growing there on my spine…nice huh? So, we are stuck. I went and spent one night at my daughters apartment the other night because I was so furious. But, being sick and sleeping on a couch just wasn’t cutting it for me so I am home. I am trying to be patient but I am not sure how much any of us, including my husband, can take. I guess if nothing comes of her visit to the school today I will just start calling the police…a waste of taxpayers money…but that’s what i will do! He needs to be away from this house so he can get the help he needs and our family doesn’t fall apart completely!!!
4 Comments
October 5, 2009 at 5:54 pm (Uncategorized)
Tags: crime, Family, general, homecoming, kids, Life, news, randome, thoughts
This weekend was the end of the line for us with my stepson. He has pulled my other stepson into his criminal mess, screwed up this family almost beyond repair and today is the end. I have a call into his PO….she will know it all. He skipped school once again today. He didn’t come home yesterday from wherever it was that he was. So, we locked the garage down, and locked all the doors so if and when he decided to come home he couldn’t get it. Well, he did get home, probably around 2AM and was let in (although he denies it) by his younger brother who is becoming more screwed up by the day. He is now laying in bed, sound asleep, totally unaware that I called his PO and left her a message that I could no longer handle him living in this house, and that he has broken his probation too many times to count. And the amount of disrespect and just plain meanness astound me to no end! It has hurt my marriage, my relationship with my own kids, their relationship with my husband and the list goes on.
If they come to get him I’m sure it will be messy, loud, and dramatic…nothing with this boy is less then dramatic. But when it is done everyone will breathe easier. I am breaking out with, what I can only think, is shingles again. Too much stress. I go to the doctor tomorrow. But for now, I am just waiting on the PO and hoping for a brighter tomorrow.
It was homecoming this weekend for my son. So, here are a couple pictures of him and his date and his best friend. They are such great kids and I am so proud of them for staying clean and not wavering from their beliefs.
1 Comment
September 24, 2009 at 11:12 pm (Uncategorized)
Tags: blogging, depression, dinner, Family, grace, kids, Life, marriage, parenting, stepfamilies, stress, thoughts, writing
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Huge cotton candy desert!
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I have been feeling gross all day today. My stomach is churning and nothing that I eat stays inside of me for very long. I’m not sure if I have a flu bug, or if it is just stress from the goings on of our home at this time. I want so badly to write something positive and uplifting and life affirming here today. I want to feel those things…faith grace mercy, joy, happiness. But these days all I seem to feel is defeated and tired. It would appear that life is giving me lemons right now and I am not sure how to make the lemonade! Has anyone ever had those kinds of time in life?
I try to really look for the good in every situation. I stand by the fact that God’s grace is sufficient for me, but I gotta say that this is a time, in my life, which hasn’t really happened very often, that I am doubting..doubting myself, my life, my marriage, my family…I’m doubting god. This is one of those times, like when I first was diagnosed with Lupus, when I don’t see any end in sight or at least not very soon. And, it’s not just the crud going on with my stepson, it is a whole lot of strange things goin on in my life. Maybe I am going through menopausal mid life crisis. I’m telling you those hot flashes are way worse then my mom said, and she said they were pretty bad!
We had a really fun weekend last weekend. My stepson had basically run away on friday night and wasn’t heard from all weekend…so, we went to a movie and took my kids, yes MY KIDS to this great resturant over by the new cardinals arena. We had a great time laughing and being together…like old times. My other step son was with us and he gets a long with my kids great! There was no stress going on about the other step son, no mention of him, no chatter about him nothing. And…NO TEXTS or PHONE CALLS from my husbands’ ex about him (which are dozens on a typical day). We were just us again, back to normal. Then Sunday came and once again all hell broke loose! The step son was brought by his mom back to our house, after having been on the run all weekend, and was given no consequences for that, no punishment it was back to life as normal…with him calling all the shots. But for that one moment in time it was good. I have tried and tried to tell my husband “do you see what he is doing to all of us” but…to no avail. anyway, I thought I would post some photos of the fun we had for that split second in time!
- Huge cotton candy desert!
2 Comments
Sometimes it takes looking at pictures and remembering the good times to make life seem a little better! I have had to do that a lot lately!
