May 12, 2009 at 1:02 am (BLENDED FAMILY, family and life, life in our world of insanity)
Tags: daughters, education, Family, graduation, love, Lupus, medical, Moms, news, relationship, school
I have two graduations this year. My oldest daughter, Ashli, is graduating from the U of A with a degree in Journalism. And my daughter Kassi is graduating from High school this year. I am so proud of both of them. Ashli has worked so hard to put herself through school, and has always been an intelligent and successful woman. She is an unbelievable writer, and has a voice like an angel! I often find myself living vicariously through her. I know she is going to go on and do amazing things with her life.
Kassi has had to fight especially hard to get through school. She has been dealing with dyslexia, which we found out when she was in first grade, and has taught herself many unusual tricks to make things in school more manageable for herself. She is intuitive, and bright and funny and she is the kindest person I know. She has a true heart of gold and will go out of her way for just about anyone. She is planning on going to college to get a degree to teach special education. She has big dreams of starting various programs to make getting through school and continuing education more do-able for those with special needs. With all the cutbacks happening in education these days she is one who knows how much help some kids need and how that help is slowly but surely being taken away from them. She is a fighter and doesn’t want to give up the right of education for everyone!
Congratulations Ashli and Kassi. I am so proud of you, as women, and I am proud to say I am your mom. I’m not sure what part I played in how well you turned out, I think it probably had more to do with your will to survive and succeed then it did with me. I love you and I look forward to seeing what the future holds for you both!
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January 2, 2009 at 7:06 pm (family and life, life in our world of insanity)
Tags: doctors, Family, God, health, illness, kids, Life, medical, Moms, thoughts
I am going to the Doctor today! I am so happy! I’m sure most people don’t get overjoyed at the prospect of heading to the doctor. But, I am ecstatic! I have been without insurance for several months now, living on a wing and a prayer that nothing dramatic or catostrophic happens with my health/lupus, just waiting for Jan. 1 to arrive. And I have an apt today! Yep, I will probably be scolded for not going in for such a long time. And, I am sure that meds will be changed around and blood will be drawn. I will be poked and prodded…but….I will finally be getting some of the things that I have just been “dealing” with taken care of. So for me a doctor apt is a good thing.
I guess that means that the new year has, so far, started off right for me. Living with a chronic illness can often be a daily drudgery that can tend to consume a person. There is pain and anxiety and fear of what lies ahead. It is always in the back of your mind that you are “sick” even if you look perfectly normal. I have again realized how often I have to tell my kids “no, not today I’m just not up to it”. Kids being out of school on vacation, bored, wanting to go and do things tends to make that happen. I have also realized that there are many times I tend to push myself when I should just say no, or I do things that could wait for another day knowing full way that I will pay for it later. There are times when I feel like I miss out on a lot of life because of this disease. There are times when I can see the disappointment in my kids faces when I just can’t be there for them, and I feel the heartache of a mom who wants to be there so badly 100% of the time.
My kids are growing up…grown up! I don’t want to lose any precious time with them. So, that brings me back to the Doctor apt today. I am going to up the ante so to speak. I am going to begin again actively taking the steps I have to to ensure that I am here for a long time to come. Because I refuse to miss out on all the great stuff there is left!
Happy new year! And please take care of yourselves!
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October 27, 2008 at 11:36 pm (BLENDED FAMILY, family and life, life in our world of insanity, marriage, the life of a lupus survivor)
Tags: college, daughter, Family, grace, hope, journalism, kids, Moms, politics, prayer, random, senate, thoughts
Tomorrow is a HUGE day for my daughter. I know she will kill me if she reads this but…big whoop. Mom’s were put on this earth to humiliate their daugthers..so that is what I am going to do. Tomorrow she has an interview…interview number two, at the Capital building in Phoenix for a big internship that she is just dying to get. It would be a great opportunity for her. She would basically be working for the legislature in various capacities such as speech writer, on the floor of the senate and house and things like that. She is in her senior year at the U of A majoring in Journalism and this internship would finish out her final semester.
I couldn’t be prouder of her whether she gets it or not. But, I am certainly going to be praying all day tomorrow until 3:30 that things go the way they are supposed to go for her. She has worked so hard all her life, I mean really worked her tail off, for everything and every opportunity she has gotten. She totally deserves this.
So, whoever reads this, whoever skims their eyes over these words tonight or tomorrow, please send up a few words for my little girl. Ask God to send a little bit of Grace her way. She could really use the boost!
thanks!
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May 21, 2008 at 8:55 pm (BLENDED FAMILY, family and life, life in our world of insanity, marriage, the life of a lupus survivor)
Tags: Family, grace, heart, hope, hugs, hurt, kids, love, Moms, pain, sadness
Lately I have been running into the problem of not knowing how to respond or help my kids deal with their problems. My kids are getting older, and I have step kids are grown adults with kids of their own…with grown up problems. And honestly, there are days when I don’t feel quite adequate or smart enough to help them, let alone give them advice.
Let’s face it, I am divorced…obviously screwed up in at least one marriage. Even though I would love to place all the blame on my ex we all know it takes two to tango, to make a marriage and to get a divorce. So, somewhere along the line, I did screw up. I was really overweight at one time….yep…I lost like 80 pounds a few years back. I have managed to keep most of it off, but still, not a great one when it comes to showing the way when it comes to eating right.
I have a chronic disease that, while I try my best to take care of myself, I don’t always do “just what the doctor ordered”. (Kids if you are reading this please forget you read that last bit…mom always, always does what the doc tells her to do:)) Seriously, I would love to say I am the perfect role model for how to live a pure life of health with a chronic disorder….but…I’m not.
Really the only thing that I truly feel is in my favor when it comes to giving my kids advice is that I really do believe in grace. I believe in my whole heart that God created us to be Grace filled beings, to love and be loved. And I know how to love. I think my kids would tell you that there are times when I “love them” just a little too much…LOL. Especially the teenage boys who really don’t like those public displays of affection. Now it’s the knuckle pound…that has to suffice for an “I love you mom”.
So, the question is, how is it that my mom seemed to know the right answers to everything and I feel so lost? Was she just good at bluffing her way through this mom stuff like I am?? Or was her belief in grace and her knowing how to love us as kids enough to make up for the lack of answers sometimes? Cuz during those times of hurt, and pain and sadness, when I don’t have a clue what to say, I really hope that my love, my heart and my hug is enough to let them know that at least I am trying to think up an answer. Cuz I’m afraid if they knew how little I know….well….where would that leave me?
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