This may sound strange but I have long thought that our family is a lot like the osmonds. We are a large, loud and musical family, very religous and fairly close knit. I grew up singing. My first solo was at a mother daughter banquet when I was 4 years old. My grandpa was a pastor. I have two brother’s who are pastor’s and our family had a band called Nehemiah that recorded when I was a teenager. When we became adults and had kids of our own, my brother was the pastor of a very large church in AZ and every Christmas we put on a christmas Variety show called the “Anderson (name changed to protect the embarrassed LOL) Family Christmas”. My grandpa had a radio show up in MN that was pretty famous up in that neck of the woods, in fact he was a pretty famous guy among the denomination we are a part of, so the similarities between us and the osmonds, outside of the money factor, the screaming throngs of rabid fans and mega world tours, were definately there. And in a small way it was a meaningful thing to me to know that my family was “special” like that. But, in the end all families no matter how perfectly seeming on the outside are still flawed on the inside. I remember people asking me all the time if we would get together and have sing a longs all the time as a family. I remember people telling me how they wished they could just be a part of our lives for just one holiday to see what it was like. And I also remember thinking “wow if they only knew the reality of life in our house….we fight like normal people, we have problems, we cry, we hurt, we know pain, we laugh and we love just like everyone else.” And I remember the pressure in my little world growing up of trying to keep up the facade of the happy family that we were supposed to be. We weren’t “TV” famous but in our circle, in our little world we were “_____ family” We were looked up to and we were supposed to get a long and be happy. Lately I’ve been watching all the stuff on the osmonds, especially Marie and it is amazing to see how real they are. I have followed them over the years and every time I see how open they are about things in their lives I just have to applaud them for it. Donny went through a really rough patch with anxiety during his run in Joseph on Broadway. It parallelled a similar path my oldest brother the pastor took with Anxiety in his ministry that threatened to be his undoing. He was equally as forthcoming with his congregation. I was so proud of him for that and the courage it took for him to be open and honest about all of it. I, on the other hand, have been a coward or should I say very private about my battle with Lupus. I’m not one to want to tell people about what is going on with me emotionally or physically. I tend to stuff what I am going through. I dont’ like sympathy, or the “eyes” people give you when they hear you have a desease. So, I just don’t tell. That is, until there are visable signs that I cannot hide.
Thanksgiving my mouth swelled up like a fish. It was the first time my family had seen me like this. My inclination was to hide in a hole and not come out till it had gone down. I looked a lot like Angelina Jolie after a bad dose of botox. But, I didn’t. I went to dinner. I let them see me as I really am. My own family…..I didn’t want them to see me. I have been so trained to be “on” that I didn’t want to disappoint them for thanksgiving. guess what. they still love me. they didn’t kick me out on my ear. And they didn’t pity me. They just loved me and told me to take better care of myself.
Basically I guess we are all the same. Big stars or little people like us. Big problems strike us all. And we all handle them differently yet the same; with fear, hope and eventually with strength and courage to move on to another day. And by God’s Grace we make it through to face the next task with endurance and perserverance. I guess that’s what I am thank ful for. That…and the osmonds. LOL.