It’s hard…


We havea new business.  I love the feeling of being part of something new, something important.  I love feeling like I have a purpose again.  I really had hoped that at some point in my life my purpose, my reality, my calling would end up being that of a writer.  I thought a publishing house would come knocking on my door and asking me to write the great american novel or the next Harry Potter-esq series of books for kids.  A book of poetry was most certainly in my future.  But, obviously that is not in the cards for me.  So, it is to my delight that I am involved in this new venture that my husband and I have purchased.  It is new and fresh and a growing and learning experience everyday. 

the difficulty is that since the passing of my mom my dad has become really involved in this new venture…or adventure as I like to call it.  Now, dad has some serious anger issues over mom’s death and some other things in life and because of that has decided that the best place to take out those feelings is in our work place.  Not an easy thing to deal with on a daily basis.  No one wants to hurt a parent.  No one wants to take away something that causes some pleasure away from them.  But how do you grow a business, make it a success with such a negative force brewing in the back ground?  It’s a never ending question that swirls in my mind on a daily basis.  I don’t want to break his heart and it breaks my heart to think that it may all come to a head and he may get  hurt.  But in the end what I really need is for him to be my dad not my co-worker.  I lost my mom in february.  I really don’t need to lose my dad on top of all of that!

One thought on “It’s hard…

  1. mel says:

    Grief is a funny thing–it comes out sideways in anger sometimes. For me, it’s all about fear. And I’m a dork when I get fearful.

    But how exciting for you to be having an adventure!
    I love adventures….and nobody gets to mess with my attitude when I’m in ’em. LOL

    Happy adventuring, ma’am….and may the best attitude, WIN!

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