Lately I have been running into the problem of not knowing how to respond or help my kids deal with their problems. My kids are getting older, and I have step kids are grown adults with kids of their own…with grown up problems. And honestly, there are days when I don’t feel quite adequate or smart enough to help them, let alone give them advice.
Let’s face it, I am divorced…obviously screwed up in at least one marriage. Even though I would love to place all the blame on my ex we all know it takes two to tango, to make a marriage and to get a divorce. So, somewhere along the line, I did screw up. I was really overweight at one time….yep…I lost like 80 pounds a few years back. I have managed to keep most of it off, but still, not a great one when it comes to showing the way when it comes to eating right.
I have a chronic disease that, while I try my best to take care of myself, I don’t always do “just what the doctor ordered”. (Kids if you are reading this please forget you read that last bit…mom always, always does what the doc tells her to do:)) Seriously, I would love to say I am the perfect role model for how to live a pure life of health with a chronic disorder….but…I’m not.
Really the only thing that I truly feel is in my favor when it comes to giving my kids advice is that I really do believe in grace. I believe in my whole heart that God created us to be Grace filled beings, to love and be loved. And I know how to love. I think my kids would tell you that there are times when I “love them” just a little too much…LOL. Especially the teenage boys who really don’t like those public displays of affection. Now it’s the knuckle pound…that has to suffice for an “I love you mom”.
So, the question is, how is it that my mom seemed to know the right answers to everything and I feel so lost? Was she just good at bluffing her way through this mom stuff like I am?? Or was her belief in grace and her knowing how to love us as kids enough to make up for the lack of answers sometimes? Cuz during those times of hurt, and pain and sadness, when I don’t have a clue what to say, I really hope that my love, my heart and my hug is enough to let them know that at least I am trying to think up an answer. Cuz I’m afraid if they knew how little I know….well….where would that leave me?