I think one of the more frustrating things about having a “disease” is having to deal with insurance companies. Now, I know that anyone who ever gets sick with any thing, especially moms with kids, know how frustrating insurance issues can be. But just imagine with me for a moment, that you are someone, really ill, I mean ill enough that doctors and medications are crucial to your life. You have insurance, or at least you think you do, and then one day, because the insurance company makes a mistake, that they don’t want to take “credit” for, you lose that insurance. All of your access to medications and doctors, at least semi affordable access, is denied to you.
That’s where I am right now. I am in that chasm between no insurance and needing things refilled, doctors wondering why I haven’t been to the office more frequently to see them, and feeling very well…alone…and unsure how to handle it.
Let’s be honest here. One woman can not take on a huge insurance company and win. There’s just no way. And I am sure I am not the only one going through this stuff. I am very sure that many of you out there have had the same problem.
So, how am I handling it you might ask???? Good question. I am taking advantage of all those cheap generic prescription programs that you can get at places like Walmart and Safeway. Which helps a lot with the medication part. The doctor part is another story. There is just no quick fix for that. So, I am going to have to just suck it up…pay the big money…and go see my doctors. If I want to live, at least live a productive and half way normal life, I have to have my team around me. That team definately includes my medical proffessionals. Without them, I wouldn’t be here.
One other little frustration, which in the scheme of things is really quite trivial. As some of you know Lupus is affected (for a lot of us) by exposure to the sun. For me, as I have mentioned in other posts, the sun truly is my enemy. Where I live it gets very hot. I mean really hot. We have had heat advisories the last 4 days and I’m sure it won’t let up till October.
When I am in the sun, riding in the car, anywhere close to the sun….even sitting in my home by a mirror, I turn red…blotchy red. It’s not a sun burn. It’s a rash from the sun. It is unattractive, and painful and just not fun. Well, the last two days I have had people, people I don’t know, point out this rash to me, acting as if I have been “uncarefully” in the sun harming my skin. The truth is that no sun screen, no amount of self tanner, or whatever, covers up this rash. It also appears when I am stressed, when I feel ill, when I am upset, or when I missed medication. It’s plain ugly and, dare I say it…embarrassing to me. It may seem like nothing to a lot of people, in the whole scheme of what this illness could do to me. But it is one of those frustrations, especially this time of year, that annoys me. I hate explaining my illness to people. I hate sounding like a baby or a wimp. So, I laugh it off as a sunburn and leave it at that. Somedays, however, I want to just yell at the heavens and ask ‘why me?”
Okay, I am done complaining for today…seriously…I’m done. Nope,not gonna say anymore. Finished! well….at least for right this moment!