I have this dream…fantasy really. It may sound odd to some. It’s not about having millions of dollars, or being famous. It’s not even really that the Lupus that I live with everyday would go away…although that would be really nice! It’s much simpler then that.
I would love to have a little house, a cottage, by the ocean somewhere. Maybe near cape cod, or even in Santa Moncia. A place where I could go, along with my hubby, to live, breath air, take long walks and just write. A small place that is comfortably decorated, yet small enough not to have to take millions of hours to clean on a weekly…daily basis. I dream of a home where I could pop the windows open and let the fresh air blow in, and when it’s chilly outside I could sit under a blanket, and read, drink tea, or watch movies with my husband.
I fantasize about a place with much less drama, where life is calmer, quieter, sweeter and based on nothing more then just being together and enjoying…well…enjoying life. The simple things of life. I wouldn’t even mind it if my kids still lived there..cuz actually I do enjoy the chaos and noise that they bring (within reason that is). I would love to live in a cooler climate where the sun and heat don’t cause me such grief.
Sometimes I read books or stories by people who have traveled to these amazing countries. They tell of the simple way of life for people who live there. Taking a stroll to the market, smelling the fresh fruits, and knowing everyone who lives nearby. They look out for one another, but yet they live a solitary life at the same time. Picturesque…quiet…gentle, happy.
Now I’m not saying that I have a bad life. I have a good life. I have a loving husband, great kids, family who loves me. But the stress of life, the rapid pace that the world forces us to live at, the stress of “more is better” is, as I am getting older, becoming so unappealing. I want to play with my grandkids in the park and not be afraid of every stranger that passes by. I want to be able to take a walk late in the evening and not fear when I hear footsteps behind me. And I want to feel like I can take that time that I want…to sit, and relax, to write, to read, to just be me.
That’s my dream….my fantasy. Maybe one day, when I am old and..well I am already gray so I guess just when I am old…er….I can make that dream a reality. When I do…you can all come visit me. And we can all relax, let the wind blow through the windows, go for long walks in the evening…and just be!