Well, I have had another flare…joy of joys. I had an ear infection and that, of course, caused my face, most notably my lips, to puff out beyond recognition. it was not attractive. Although, as always, people kept asking me if I am related to Angelina Jolie…J/k. Seriously, we joke a lot when I swell. It just makes things seem easier. The swelling has gone down, but the sores in my mouth are quite painful. And that really wouldn’t bother me so much if I didn’t enjoy eating as much as I do. Things like pizza, spicy wings, ya know, the good stuff, doesn’t go very well with mouth sores. Grin and bear it is what I always say.
Tomorrow I am going to be singing at church. Now normally this wouldn’t be such a big deal. However, I haevn’t really done anything at church since christmas when I sang with all my siblings. I’ve been out of the loop for a while. I’m so tired by weekends that it is just hard to get up the energy to get ready to go to church. So, laying low is my weekend thing. But this weekend…I’m singing.
I used to sing all the time. It was no biggy for me. But, now a days I get terribly nervous. I’m not sure if its the lupus that scares me…I worry that I may fall over on stage or some odd thing…or if I am just getting older and my comfort zone is becoming smaller. I guess looking back I can see a gradual turn when, for me, singing started becoming harder and harder. I can act…speak…do drama’s, no sweat. But singing…man my stomach is in knots. But, tomorrow should be fine. We are doing a song that I recorded with a group I was in in highschool. It’s an old gospel song and I have sung it for years. And, I am singing with my sister and brother which helps to add some level of comfort.
I will let you all know how it goes. As long as I dont’ trip….trip would be bad. At least my lip isn’t still swollen…I can just see the video guy zooming in on that!
God Give me strength!