These last couple of weeks have been interesting…and a bit difficult. I have been dealing with some health stuff, which is fairly common these days. So, I guess I am getting used to it, or as used to it as possible. Yesterday our pet pig Elvis went to live on a farm. That was a sad for us. It is quiet without him here but he has so much more space to roam and be free where he went. He went to a great home with someone who, i have no doubt, will love him immensly.
And we have been busy. Work is consistant, however it could be busier. it would add a peace of mind if we had a bit more activity…but I am pretty happy with how things are going…especially in the economy we are in.
There is always drama of one kind or another. I guess one can’t escape that in life. The circumstances surrounding my step son has really caused ripples here at this home. I wish it weren’t that way. But everyone seems to be affected when one person messes up big. Of course there is forgiveness and the need to move forward. And there is always hope that things get better, he gets help for whatever demons he is dealing with, and that we can return to being a “family”. But until that day there is just day to day life. Blended family life is difficult as it is without drama and trauma. I’m trying so hard to stay focused and loving and accepting. We have worked so hard for the last 8 years to make this a family and a home. And some days I want to give up. But in the end, when the kids are grown and have families of their own, I am really hopeful that they remember this family, they remember that we had each other’s backs even when it didn’t seem that way. And that the parents in “this” home only wanted the best for ALL of the kids here.
There have also been odd conversations with people over the last couple of weeks. conversations that bring back old memories, some painful, some good. There are people who walk in and out of our lives for one reason or another and often it is difficult to figure out why they have been sent to affect your life. I have had to grow over the last several years, to a point where I feel confident in myself. I believe in myself enough to know that if it all fell apart I could make it on my own. If something ever happened to my husband I would be devastated but I know I could survive. That is a huge step for me. I have learned that there are always things pulling people one way or another and I, personally, can only control myself and how I respond to those things. I am a whole person, just me, even with lupus, even with all my quirks. I am whole. And I will survive through it all.
So, it has been an interesting few weeks. Tomorrow is friday! I need a weekend to recoup. I need time to just relax and take a break from it all. But, the learning and growing never ends. Afterall, that’s what life is all about!