I am so excited for this trip. The medications have done their job and I feel actually pretty good. My daughter, Kassi, however, isn’t so lucky. She has the flu…nasty bug that it is. Hopefully by saturday when we hit the park she will be feeling much better. A mom always worries about their kids when they are sick and I am no exception. There are times when I have wondered if Kassi will grow up to be burdened with this disease that I have. She has all the same symptoms that I had as a teen when no one could figure out what I had wrong with me. No one knew why I had so many medical problems, why I got sick a lot, why I had so many problems being pregnant or giving birth. And no one could tell me why I lost three babies! Not until, that is, I was finally diagnosed with lupus in 2002. But even then, and now, there are questions that arise. Like, why is it that sometimes my ANA test is positive and sometimes negative? Why do I feel good sometimes and then get knocked down the next with no warning? All of us with Lupus have those same questions. And now my daughter is dealing with some of those same things. And frankly it scares me.
But, I’m not going to dwell on it. I am going to take one day at a time, like I have done for the last 7 years. And I am going to pray…pray…pray! And for now, for tonight, I am going to look forward to Disneyland and have dreams of tinkerbell, Mickey Mouse and of course Capt. Jack Sparrow!!!!!
I’m off to never never land!