Should life really be this hard?


Seriously?  I mean seriously?  I am a 45 year old woman, thinking that life should be getting easier.  My kids are old enough to take care of themselves…or they should be…actually my husband and I should be able to have date nights, vacations alone, times of romantic evenings, dinners, talks on the phone, walks in the evening.  We should be able to sit with our little puppy in the evening and watch TV…nope, not happenin.  We spend out time dealing with kids being suspended from school for stupid things like throwing paper clips at teachers or other such nonsense, or fending off the police who are called by nutcase mother in laws who claim we are stealing their life savings (what life savings?) from under their noses all the while they are using all our cell phone minutes and racking  up a whopping 400+cell phone bill cuz they think their home phone is bugged so they don’t pay the phone bill for months at a time, they call the bank and close out their accounts, and on and on. 

I literally threw up three times this morning because I am in knots.  Add to that the fact that we added a new guy to our business who has the potential to bring quite a bit of new business to our company, but has definately added new stressors to the  mix, and I am a flat out disaster walking.  My husband has been strolling in at 1 or 2 AM at the earliest.  I have become the one he doles out his frustration on, which I suppose is normal, but I really don’t enjoy driving 20 miles one way just to be the one who is the kicking post for the frustrated people of the world.  I’d much rather stay home, crawl in a closet and hide until the storm blows over, if that ever happens.  As it stands I am the one who has stolen my mother in laws medications, her money, and am trying to kill her, I frustrate my husband, my stepson can’t stand me and I am just in the way of him getting into trouble…go figure, and lupus is having a hay day in my body.  It is not fun being me right now…and I feel like a big ole cry baby!

I’m not one to normally whine or moan or complain.  But these days really suck right now and I am not really sure how to make it better!  So, I’m complainin!  My sister in law called adult protective services on my mother in law today.  They will be coming out within the next few days to get my mother in law to observe her and decide what needs to happen with  her.  I guess that is a step in the right direction.  Other then that who knows! Only God’s grace can make things any better!

5 thoughts on “Should life really be this hard?

  1. psychscribe says:

    I soooo hear you….no, you should NOT be anyone’s kicking post under any circumstances…NO ONE should, deserves it, or owes it to anyone else, including their husbands, my friend. But even more, all this stress can literally kill you if lupus decides to flare and attack your body! I would tell them all, “Sorry, I’m having a flare and I need to go to bed. Now.” Then I would go there and stay there with a good book, chick lit or chick movie, and PAMPER yourself. You don’t need this crap!!!

  2. lupusranting says:

    I agree with Psych! You are not the family punching bag, or whatever you would call it. And absorbing this kind of stress is potentially deadly, given your lupus. Your kidneys, your joints … you know what I mean! It’s normal to be upset, given your circumstances. Don’t be afraid to make your health your first priority! I know that’s easier said than done, but I know too well what can happen when we think we can hold on, or push through difficult times, as if we were superhuman. We are not. You have lupus and so do I. It’s never, never the same.

    Kudos to your sister-in-law for stepping up and dealing with your mother-in-law’s dementia. I’m sending you big hugs and prayers. It’s not selfish to put your health and yourself first. it’s not easy, either. But you are worth it!!

  3. Lois says:

    Lori, I’m so sorry you are having to go through all this garbage! You so deserve some peace and happiness in your life and I pray all these trials are over and your life will be much better from now on!! I too am glad your Sister-in-law has found help for the mother-in-law situation!! How awful to be falsely accused!! I’m praying, praying, praying! I love you!!

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