I am a great aunt….again. For the third time I have been blessed with a great neice. It’s amazing to me, with how many boys there are in this family, that so far I have only great neices. It is also telling me how old I am getting. No longer am I getting news that I will be an “aunt” again. Nope…all my neices and nephews are now having babies of their own. Strange how that works. It’s given me a few things to think about.
First, I am realizing that my own children are hitting that age when they could be getting married and having babies of their own. I have seen how fast time flies and that my mom was right when she told me to cherish every minute with my kids because that time is so precious and goes so fast. It seems like just minutes ago they were toddlers, babies and needing me for everything in their lives. Now, they don’t need me much at all. I like to believe they do, but the reality is that they are pretty grown up…and I am so proud of them.
I am also realizing that the older I get the harder it is to deal with a disease or anything physically that goes along with that disease. I don’t recover as quickly. And, I am so much more tired so much more often then I used to be. I am trying, like we all do, to cling to my youth, to try to believe I am still sexy to my husband, attractive enough for a man on the street to take a second look, that I could swim 50 laps in my pool like I did just a few years ago. I sit back and think to myself “what happened to the girl who did 500 sit ups every day, did tae bo, ate healthily and weighed much less?” Now some of that I could get back. I could eat more healthy and probably should. But the situps? No way. My back, my joints, just wouldn’t take the abuse to my body. Occassionally I drag out the yoga mat and stretch and work my muscles. But even that is getting more and more difficult.
I really don’t want Lupus to make a mess of me, but it is one thing, another thing, that I have had to face up to. I can take steps to make my life better, I can take my meds, go to the doctor, stay out of the sun and do all the things that I am supposed to do but the reality is that like it or not I have a disease that is eating away at me. I could live to a very old age with this disease, but, each day that passes I count as a blessing and a gift. And the older I get the more I cherish that gift.
My daughters are so young and beautiful. My son is a handsome and loveable young man…so funny, so smart. And my step kids have all left their mark on my heart. I have grand children thanks to them, much earlier then I anticipated having grand kids….and for that I am grateful. I hope and pray that they all take each day, remember the moments that fill them, hold them in their hearts. I hope that they realize how quickly time flies and that they only have this one life and they need to make the most of it!
I am a great aunt! And for me…that’s a very remarkable thing!