Life throws curve balls. It spins out of control, and often we feel like we can’t win for losing. Life in our house has been that way. I feel torn in a lot of different ways, and there are days I don’t know up from down. But during those times, I still find strength in knowing that I have raised great kids, they have a severe and fierce love for one another, and they grew up to know the difference between right and wrong. I am so proud of them and their talents and accomplishments. They make me laugh and cry and smile and they bring pride to my heart knowing that I had a slight hand in how they have grown.
Marriage, step parenting and parenting are all things that are so hard and take so much effort and work. I’m not going to lie, I love being married, I love my husband and I love having kids and I love my kids, but both bring conflict. Taking one step forward and two steps back seems to be the norm in our world. My mom showed me through her life how grace works. She showed me what forgiveness really meant, and she taught me that life isn’t always rosey and smooth sailing. She and my dad had many ups and downs, they had mountains that they had to overcome that often, I’m sure, seemed insurmountable to her. But she loved my dad with an unconditional love. For all his faults and foibles, for all his quirks, she held on to that marriage and that life and she savored and cherished every day of her life. My mom was in no way perfect. She had her quirks and short comings as well. And I know there were times when my dad probably thought “Oh Joanne, stop your naggin!” But he loved her. He still loves her! They were married over 50 years, moms been gone 2 years and he still talks about her like she is still around! She taught me those things. To forge ahead even when you feel like letting go.
So, that’s what I am doing. I know having a wife with a chronic illness can’t be easy on my husband, and my insecurities and things are not always the easiest to deal with. And he, like all humans, has his own faults. We tangle, we disagree, we argue, and we don’t always see eye to eye. But we love each other. And we have fought hard through so many obstacles to make it as far as we have! So, I am keeping the faith that this too shall pass…we will come out stronger on the other side!
I hope you enjoy this video of my kids, singing and playing music together. They bring such joy to my life everyday! they are tough and strong and beautiful human beings!