Un believable!!!

So, I guess our justice system is really broken!  I have a step son who is a teenager and on probation for a weapons charge.  He took a plea deal….dropped from 6 felonies down to just one!  the conditions of his plea are an essay, a fine, counseling, community service, cannot miss school, and must keep job, no involvement with drugs, dealing or alcohol,  or with the kids who got him involved in those things in the first place.  He cannot get a drivers license till he is 18, must follow household rules, drug tests twice weekly.  He has deferred detention which means at any time (supposedly) the judge can throw him back in jail.

Guess what….he has been skipping school, not coming home at night, drinking, dealing drugs again, he punched holes in our walls at home, skipped counseling, has not written the essay nor paid the fine and skipped his community service.  And that’s just part of the list.  So, we called the PO….first of all i am not allowed to be involved in any way because I am “just” the step parent.  Even though he is living in MY home and causing Chaos in MY life I have no involvement!  Not only that, she said she can’t do anything unless we call the police for every infraction.  Now wait a minute….I thought that is what he had a PO for???  No one told us we had to call the police for every infraction they told us to contact his PO.  But, she says she can’t do anything.  Today she was making a visit up to his school to meet with him and his teachers…guess what….he isn’t there.  My husband got a text from him at 2 AM last night that said “Homey got shot, had to take him to ER wasn’t going to let him die”.  But, no one can do anything about him.  Amazing.  Is it any wonder there are so many kids on the street in trouble?  They get charges against them, get Parole officers who can’t do anything so there is no way they will ever change.  If I hadn’t heard the PO on the phone with my own ears I never would have believed it!

So, yesterday I put a call in to the judge.  After all she is the one at the hearing who said she could revoke his deferred detention and his plea bargain at any time and for any reason.  She never called me back.  I called again today…we’ll see if she calls back!  This boy is destroying our life, our marriage, our family and making me sicker by the day.  The stress of it is incredible.

As you know, or don’t know, I have lupus.  Right now I am fighting strep throat, a strep rash on my neck, pleurisy, and I have to have an MRI on my lower back because something is growing there on my spine…nice huh?  So, we are stuck.  I went and spent one night at my daughters apartment the other night because I was so furious.  But, being sick and sleeping on a couch just wasn’t cutting it for me so I am home.  I am trying to be patient but I am not sure how much any of us, including my husband, can take.  I guess if nothing comes of her visit to the school today I will just start calling the police…a waste of taxpayers money…but that’s what i will do!  He needs to be away from this house so he can get the help he needs and our family doesn’t fall apart completely!!!

4 thoughts on “Un believable!!!

  1. Mat Courner says:

    A Million Miles Away lyrics

    Here we lay face to face once again
    Silence cuts like a knife as we pretend.
    And I’m wondering who will be the first to say what we both know
    We’re just holding on to “could have been”s and we should be letting go.

    It feels like you’re a million miles away as you’re lying here with me tonight.
    I can’t even find the words to say I can find a way to make it right.
    And we both know that the story’s ending,
    We play the part but we’re just pretending and I can’t hide the tears
    ’cause even though you’re here,
    It feels like you’re a million miles away.

    Was it me, or was it you that broke away?
    For what we were is like a season love is change
    And every time I think about it, it tears me up inside.
    Like the rivers of emotion but I got no more tears to cry.


    [Music Plays:]


    We can try to talk it over but we walked that road before,
    While our song is playing its last note,
    We both know for sure that it’s time to close that door.


  2. Ken Kendall says:

    I have been through similar experiences with my step daughter and even with that experience, I don’t know how you do it and keep yourself together. It really is just getting up each day and facing what life brings.

    I write a blog about marriage and specifically about how men can better love their wives. It would be great if your husband could read it. Especially the one about putting your wife first.



  3. wvyogamomma says:

    Oh honey! I’m so sorry that you have to go through this. My oldest daughter put us through hell, and I understand what you are saying about the system being broken.

    Hopefully the boy will get the help he needs. It’s a shame that the system can’t or won’t deal with situations like this!!

    Take care of yourself and don’t let him ruin your life.

    I’ll keep you in my prayers.

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