So, I’m getting divorced. Not really where I saw my life going, nor is it really where I want to be. However, things happen that are beyond our control and the hard part is trusting that God has it under control. I’m not going to place blame or go on a tyraid about my soon to be ex husband. I will say that I still love him very much, even after all the hurt, and in time hopefully those feelings will go away, or subside. When you think you are going to grow old with someone, and you go through as much as we have, it is difficult to get used to the idea that it’s all over and that those years were for nothing. So, you have to dig down and try to find the lesson in it all. That’s where I’m at, trying to find the lesson.
There are many things that feel like small deaths in this ending. With him I was a grandma, and overnight that changed. I have no more contact with those little ones that I love so much. I worry about what they’ve been told, what they think of me and if they feel I abandoned them. That’s the furthest thing from the truth!!! I would love to be a part of their lives, but that isnt up to me. I also lost relationships with step kids that I love. But again, these are things that come with divorce. Hopefully hearts will heal and life will move forward.
Till then, I miss my old life, and the man I was in love with!!!