It’s been a while….

Source: It’s been a while….

It’s been a while….

It’s been a while since I last posted on my blog.  My life has been busy, weird, complicated, difficult, yet filled with JOY because of this little boy that now exists in my heart!!!  Oliver, my grandson, has totally changed the way I love, the way I laugh and the way I am trying to fight to stay around for him.  I will admit that I have not been the best at managing my health, I have my good days and my bad days.  I have days with I just feel so much physical pain that the only thing I want to do is try to exist.  Then there are days, the days I get to spend with Ollie, that I can forget that lupus has tried to take over every aspect of my existence.  I also admit I get depressed, I get sad, I wonder what life would have been like if I had never gotten sick.  I wonder how life is going to be going forward.

My sister in law once told me that the best thing to do when you feel sad is to hold a baby in your arms, look into the innocent eyes of a child, let tears roll down your face as you realize the amazing miracle of new life.  She was right.  Holding her daughter back then, my new niece, changed me.  I had never felt that kind of love toward anyone until she was born.   I remember feeling the same way as each new nephew/niece was born.  Then when I had my own children that feeling grew exponentially.  And when I was sad the one thing that could pull me out of that sadness was looking at my children.  They were my own personal miracles.

 

So, now my grandson is that miracle for me.  Lupus is an odd disease.  It is misundersood, it is often unexplainable.  And it is a life long struggle.  No matter how much people want you to “be” normal, you aren’t.  And no one can really understand how you feel because they are not you.  Medications become a problem.  Breathing becomes a problem.  Pain is a problem.  Privacy becomes a problem.  So, you have to look for the goodness in your life.  You have to grab each moment of joy you can find. And right now my joy comes in the form of a little boy named Oliver!

The New Man In my LIfe….

My Life has made an amazing and happy change…well a couple actually. I became a grandma! August 25, 2014 my handsome little grandson Oliver was born. I will never forget looking into his little eyes and falling madly deeply in love with him. It took all of about 1 second for that to happen. He was so tiny, and his eyes looked everywhere, taking in every sight and hearing every sound this huge family was making. And I became hooked into his little fingers immediately. Every little change that he makes from day to day is exquisite. He is smiling now, and cooing and laughing. And he makes any day that seems even the littlest bit dim brighter again.

I also found a new job. And yes it is the perfect job for me. It is in an accounting and tax office. Now if you are thinking “what in the world does she know about either of those things?” You would be right to ask. I really know nothing. But I do know people skills, I do know how to be kind, how to answer phones, how to help with computer things, make appointments for people, and I know how to laugh because quite honestly we do a lot of that in our office. I work in a place with a couple of other women who have similar health issues to my won which makes things so much easier. WE understand each other. WE get how important it is to laugh at our selves but at the same time take things seriously enough so as to try to make each day worth living. So, God has blessed me immensely. He has given me this grandson that is beyond what I could have imagined. I now have a job that is perfect for me. And I have new friends.
Christmas is coming…the great news is that I got a couple of my presents early!!!!

A Magical Night of Disney

Disney rehearsals are well underway and wow what a show it will be. The magical night of Disney is happening at Community of Grace Church in Peoria, AZ on Aug. 3, at 7 PM. It is completely free, and open to all who want to come. But don’t forget to bring your cameras to get those pictures of you, your kids, grandkids and friends with all the special guests who just may make an appearance at this big event.

Everyone loves disney! Just listening to some of the great music from the movies and broadway shows that have come from the hearts and imaginations of the many great musicians and writers can turn a horrible day, week, or month into a better brighter time! We all need a boost of that positive happy feeling that we used to have when we were little. And what better way then listening, singing along and laughing a long with the Princesses, Princes, Villains and side kicks that all make up the Disney world. So I hope to see you all there.